Monday, 5 December 2011

How do I keep myself interesting?

How do I keep myself interesting? What an interesting question. I guess when you really think about it we all like to consider ourselves a little interesting, but I mean, am I really all that interesting? I don't think I am. I certainly don't think that I try to keep myself interesting anyway. I know what it's like to be fascinated with other people, so the idea that someone else could ever be fascinated with me just seems ridiculous in my eyes.

If I were to answer this question in terms of what I think sets me apart from other people then I suppose I could come up with a few responses. Lately I've been noticing qualities in other people that I wouldn't want people to see in myself, and a couple of these qualities (if you can even call them qualities) are bitterness and resentment - qualities which thankfully I do not believe that I possess. So could this be something that sets me apart from others? The fact that I'm not bitter about my life, or resentful of the success of others? Maybe not in the bigger picture, but in my little circle it sure does make me feel different.

Aside from that I'm pretty much your every day, self absorbed twenty-something-year old who thinks every little accomplishment is worthy of broadcasting across facebook and the blogosphere. I guess throughout my life so far I've unknowingly been surrounding myself with people who prefer to offer criticism over encouragement, so the need to feel validated is something that I am all too familiar with. Even after being diagnosed with Narcolepsy and being reassured that these criticisms were about things that I ultimately had no control over, the criticism and the self doubt have yet to cease. However, I still like to believe that there is a positive to be found in all situations, and in this situation I feel like the positive is knowing - simply knowing. I feel as though right now at this exact point in time, I have more emotional self awareness than most people my age would ever have in a lifetime. I guess that this alone makes me fascinating in some way.

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