Wednesday, 22 August 2012

Yeah, so.. apparently I'm a screamer.

Hey guys!

I really enjoyed sharing my little story totally obsessive thoughts on baby names with you the other day. You were all very supportive and no one made me feel crazy for spilling my guts, which was quite therapeutic for me. :) So since I know I can trust you guys to not make me feel like a dork, I thought I'd fess up about a little "screaming" incident that took place in my bedroom the other night (don't worry, it's not what you're thinking!). :P



K, so the other night B and I were pretty exhausted and went to bed fairly early. We don't normally go to bed early unless we've had a really long day, but when we do I often tend to have what I've been informed are "lucid dreams". Now, if you've never had a lucid dream before you may find this hard to understand.. but a lucid dream is basically when you have a dream that is so vivid and so life like that it can be very difficult to realise that you're actually having a dream, and then when you do realise you're dreaming it can seem almost impossible to wake yourself up from the dream.. so much so that you may actually think that you've woken up, however you are actually only dreaming that you have woken up. A dream within a dream so to speak. The movie 'Inception' is a great interpretation of the concept of lucid dreaming.

I've been having lucid dreams for as long as I can remember, and as far as I know I always realise that I'm having these dreams fairly quickly. Once I've realised I'm dreaming I usually spend the next 30 minutes to an hour (in real time) trying to wake myself up from the dream(s). The most "dreams within dreams" that I've ever had has been five. That's right.. I'm talking a dream within a dream, within a dream, within a dream, within a dream! And even though I've had so many over the years, these "lucid dreams" still terrify the crap out of me each and every time.. It almost feels as though I am being buried alive, and I am struggling and struggling to dig my way out. :( 

I've read that some people actually enjoy lucid dreaming because it means that they can control what happens in the dream (e.g. make themselves fly or start climbing the walls), but I just automatically want out of the dream because deep down I know that I'm not really in control. Fortunately for me, after years of attempting to wake myself up from lucid dreams, I managed to find a wake up method that seems to do the trick every time. This method is to close my eyes and scream at the top of my lungs. Of course, I'm not actually screaming for real, and when I do finally wake up I'm usually just lying there perfectly still in the same position that I first went to sleep in.

Anyway, back to the point.. after falling asleep exhausted the other night I found myself having what I honestly thought was just another lucid dream. I'd "woken up" in my bed, my body feeling heavy, with a strange dialogue going on in my head. I figured that I was dreaming, and as I didn't appear to be having a nightmare, I just continued along with the flow of my dream and "got up" from the bed to go and do something.. only I wasn't really asleep at all, I was actually awake and moving around my bedroom! I must have been sleepwalking!.. So anyway, as I was getting out of bed in what I thought was a dream, B who was laying down beside me in reality reached out and grabbed my arm to pull me back under the covers! As far as I was concerned though, B wasn't supposed to be lying down beside me in my dream, and so I thought my dream had turned into a nightmare where some strange man was attacking me in my bed! 

So what did I do? I closed my eyes and screamed at the top of my lungs, of course! and not just once either.. I screamed the most high pitched shriek of a scream over and over and over again until a very surprised, and very confused B managed to shake me out of it and bring me back to reality!

Once I finally realised that I was in fact awake, I couldn't speak to B for almost ten whole minutes because my heart was pounding away in my chest at like a hundred miles an hour, plus I was so exhausted from all the screaming that I could barely even breathe. Poor B had no idea what was going on. All he saw was me standing at the side of our bed, screaming out repeatedly as though I was being murdered. :\ By the time I was ready to talk I could barely get the words out because I was just so overwhelmed with confusion and tears.. It wasn't until the next morning that I was finally able to make sense of what had happened, and even then, I couldn't have been more embarrassed about it. 


Have any of you guys ever experienced a lucid dream before? What about sleepwalking?

I'd be very interested to hear everyone's thoughts on these topics!

5 comments:

  1. such an interesting post... i've always had real vivid dreams to the point i had to get taken to the doctor when i was younger because when i was little i couldn't establish what was dream or reality! i still dream really vividly now but mine kind of leave a feeling behind... for example the other week i had a dream where my bf had done something really hurtful so i woke up in a foul mood with him and i couldn't be nice to him altho i knew it was a dream and he didn't actually do anything bad. but the feeling is so intense it just stays.

    xxx

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    1. Thanks! I'm glad someone else finds it interesting. :) I can totally relate to having a feeling left behind from the dream. If I have a bad dream about my partner I am moody with him the next morning too, even though I know it was just a dream and he doesn't deserve it. It can take a few hours, even days sometimes for me to forget about my dreams and the feelings they stir up. Very intense indeed!

      xx

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    2. This was seriously one of the most interesting blog posts I've ever read. Thank you for taking the time to write it out! I've had lucid dreams for years. For me, they tend to happen the most when I've got something I need to wake up for. So, I go to bed as early as I can the night before or take a nap hours before I need to be there. So it's like even in my sleep I know so well that I have to be somewhere so I remind myself subconsciously as well (it's so hard to explain). Well, sometimes my body will just wake up on its own because even in my dreams I'm telling myself to wake up on time and I'll just pop up before the alarm goes off. Then there are other times where I know I gotta wake up so I do, but only in my dreams. And I'm acting out everything, I mean precisely, in my dream as though I were awake. From walking to the bathroom to take a pee and then brushing my teeth, showering, doing my hair, putting on make up, and always when I get to the part where I walk out the door, that's when I wake up and realize I'm late. haha That happens all the time! Well, often enough that it pisses me off cause then when I wake up, I immediately look at the clock and see that I slept through the alarm and all the "getting ready" that I thought I did, didn't happen at all. lol But there are pretty lucid dreams that I've had that were absolutely terrifying. For example, did you ever see Paranormal Activity when it came out in like, 2010? I love horror movies, but I'm always out looking to find one that will actually scare me. Most horror movies nowadays are crap and just out to make you jump with no real terror behind it to creep you out after the credits roll. Well, Paranormal Activity was the first movie in YEARS to get under my skin. I slept with the lights on in our bedroom for over a week! Needless to say Mikey was like, "Okay, are you serious?" by like the second night. But he understood because it freaked him out a bunch too. Well, he ended up going out of town for a week shortly after and one night I dreamt (but I thought this was real life) that I was in my bed and I woke up to something that I couldn't see holding me down and choking me or something because I couldn't even scream. I finally got away from it and ran out of the room. And I remember everything from the air to the electricity being really really off. Mikey was even out of town in the dream so I really thought it was real. So I went from running to walking really, really slowly throughout the apartment and I was just looking around because I knew someone was in there but I couldn't see them. The clocks on the stove and microwave were blinking as if I'd slept through a storm, but I knew I hadn't. And all of a sudden I was just overtaken by this invisible force that wouldn't let me leave and I just freaked out and woke up in hysterics, crying. I immediately called Mikey but he didn't answer as it was like 3 am and he was asleep. So I called one of my best friends who lived close by and made him tell me funny stories till I felt better. haha

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    3. [continued b/c it wouldn't let me publish this comment altogether since it's so long!]
      It's been so hard to wake up from a ton of my lucid dreams and I haven't figured out how to do what you said: by finding a little trick that helps each individual person wake up. For you, screaming (lol) and I've read online (I was obviously so creeped out by this and wanted to see if other ppl experienced it often) that some people can actually wiggle their toes in their sleep to wake them up when they know they're in a dream. I'm like, how the hell can you do that? Because half the time I don't even know I'm dreaming, I really think I'm awake so I don't know to 'try and get up'. OR I try and struggle to wake up but I can't until something really powerful happens or something. You described it perfectly when you said it's like being buried alive. It's awful and I wish that I could just have fun with my dreams like some people that start flying or climbing walls. I just don't know how to do that. My dreams just feel too real that I don't tune into having fun with them. I just go along like they're real life. Ah, anywho, I've babbled on wayyy too much. But I hope I made sense. This was such a long comment, I'm not even going to check for grammar errors, etc. hehe :) Always a pleasure stopping by your little nook, Felicity. You make me laugh with your stories! Or in this case, creepily relate. ;)

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    4. Haha.. woah! What a long AWESOME comment! I am so glad you found this post so interesting Roni! :D

      I've seen all of the paranormal activity movies and I can't say that they freaked me out anywhere near as much as they did you, but I've definitely had a few scary dreams before. The other night I had a dream that I had been starving a pet cat (which is crazy because I've never had a pet cat) and the cat starting clawing me to death when I eventually returned to the house to feed it. Even though I realised I was only dreaming, I immediately busted out my screaming technique to try and wake myself up from the dream. The thought of starving an animal was more than enough to freak me out.

      Anyway, I could babble on for days about the crazy dreams I have, but instead I'm just going to say thanks for stopping by and for taking the time to share your own dream experiences with me! :)

      xx

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Thanks for taking the time to stop by and comment! I really appreciate it. :)