Friday, 3 April 2015

How I learned to let go of negative people.



It's no secret that I have had my fair share of negative people worm their way into my life at one point or another. It's also no secret that I will not stand for negative people weighing me down. Unfortunately saying goodbye to such negativity isn't as always simple as saying goodbye and good riddance. Once you build up the courage to remove that person from your life, it's not uncommon for you to still feel their negative presence on a daily basis - a negative aftermath so to speak. Letting go of negative people is rarely ever as easy as simply removing them from your life. You will also need to let go of their ongoing hold over you.

Here are a few things that I have found that can help you to do this:

1. Remove yourself from as many of your mutual friends/acquaintances as possible.
Obviously if one of your mutual friends is someone you hold very dear to your heart then you definitely wouldn't remove yourself from them. You may want to watch what you say to them though, as you don't want them to feel caught in the middle, or to bring certain topics up to the negative person you are trying to distance yourself from. If it's just an acquaintance though, delete them off social media so that you don't catch glimpses of their conversations or even worse, photographs, with said negative person.

2. Remove as many physical reminders of your past with this person as you can.
If you have photos that were taken together with mutual friends, keep those, but the rest can magically disappear. Try not to display the photos with mutual friends that you keep though, and even more important, don't cut the negative person out of your photos, as this will only prompt people to ask who you cut out when they see the photo hanging in your living room. If you have gifts that this person gave you that bring back memories of your time together, give them away to someone else who will appreciate them without the attached memories weighing them down.

3. Whenever you find yourself thinking about them, remind yourself of how much better your current situation is without their negativity.
For example, whenever I catch myself missing someone who I've purposefully removed from my life (it happens, I'm human), I try to imagine how I would feel about my current situation if that person was actually around still. Nine times out of ten, I can honestly say that I know I would feel really awful and nowhere near as positive and confident.

4. Similarly, if you find yourself missing that person, try imagining your future if that person were still in your life.
This is a big one for me. Whenever I find myself wondering if I made a mistake by cutting someone negative out of my life, I think ahead to the future when I'm getting married and having children, and feel grateful that that person won't be there to make me feel inferior on my wedding day, or to spread their negativity around in front of my future children. The last thing I want is for my children to think it's normal to have negative friends that make you feel like crap.

5. Think about all of the POSITIVE people who are still in your life. Appreciate them.
This is probably the most important point of all, and the thing that has helped me the most. Since cutting negative people out of my life I have had more time to get to know my positive friends and acquaintances more. This means that friendships have grown immensely, or formed when I once wouldn't have given them the chance to go anywhere due to being so wrapped up in feeling horrible about myself. Plus, by surrounding myself with so much positivity, I find myself attracting even positive people and situations into my life. :)

I hope these five tips were helpful and that you're now feeling better about your decision to rid yourself of negative people. Just remember that you're not alone, and that just because it isn't easy, doesn't mean that it wasn't the right decision to make.

 
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4 comments:

  1. Since being away at university and meeting my fair share of Negative Nancies I've just learnt that the best thing to do is to simply remove them from your life and I feel so much better for it. xx

    Jessie | allthingsbeautiful-x

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    Replies
    1. Glad to hear it lovely! Thanks for commenting. :)

      xx

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  2. Great tips and I always think being around positive people gives you positive vibes :) I really love this post xxxx

    Beyond The Velvet | Beauty, Fashion & Lifestyle Blog

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Thanks for taking the time to stop by and comment! I really appreciate it. :)